My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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