I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
