I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
