oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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