When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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