just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
