hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
