that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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