Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
