yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dicks are not precious.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
