Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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