You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
