But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
