He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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