Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
