so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
