i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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