your parents love me but you hate me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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