Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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