she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
