so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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