So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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