You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
