i think my tv is drunk
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
