2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
