worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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