Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
