It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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