Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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