found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
