apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
