I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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