Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The Olympian is in my bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
