My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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