Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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