then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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