so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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