I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
