We won't sleep together?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
