Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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