I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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