When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
