I hate your face
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize