this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
