This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
