im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
