And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
