How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
