you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
