i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize