Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
