Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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