"it" just moved
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
