Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
