I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
