Is it normal to miss your booty call?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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