dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
