There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
