Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
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i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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