The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
how drunk are you?
Several
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
